I used to be really skinny. I was once a petite girl who was full of confidence and was always bubbly (not really lol I was shy but still ) I really wonder where that girl has went because I’m starting to miss her. as the years gone by, that girl had changed. she was no longer confident in showing herself off and it only makes me sad to see her with such low self-esteem.
I’m confident in terms of public speaking and things I’m actually good at but when it comes to doing this in front of an audience ( like dancing singing being vain) I find it a tedious task that requires a valiant effort to succeed. but no matter how much I try, I find myself still feeling absolutely nervous and there is no way I’ll ever stand in front of an audience to show myself off.
I actually felt that this was because of my exterior figure ( I know that it shouldn’t matter and I should be proud of how I am yet I can’t bring myself to be proud of who I am ) many times, I wish I could get a refund my current body for a skinnier one. something I am able to flaunt instead of always hiding myself
It’s just I detest the way I look ; how I have fats where it should be flat and a pair of thunder thighs. I can’t be like other teenagers who wear crop tops and pretty clothing because I look absolutely revolting in them. I hate the judging looks I receive or just the stigmatizing comments that my skinnier friends say.
honestly I should learn to love my body but it’s hard. maybe if I lose a few pounds, I’d be more confident but for now I guess I have to be confident and be proud of whatever I am.