luhan’s eyes are filled with despair and not a hint of happiness could be seen in those iridescent orbs. it’s so empty like his heart – the geranium muscle that merely beats in a steady tone and he no longer feels emotions. he once felt warmth in the left spot of his chest but now everything is gone.
he wants to be alone yet he doesn’t want to feel lonely. what weird logic he possess.
the inner voice in him chortles in amusement and luhan feels slightly degraded, as though those words were true, he slumps his shoulders slightly, unable to lift himself up with pride.
you are a mess and the world is better off without you. just die like you should have years ago. you were lucky that the rope hadn’t taken your life but luck is obviously not on your side.
he wipes his tear stricken face as he lets his emotions wreck. it hurts so much. he trusted sehun. he gave him his heart – his everything and yet here he is alone and crying. he felt as though sehun had ripped his heart ruthlessly into pieces and it hurts. he thought sehun cared ; but no one does do they?
life isn’t a freaking fairytale and he isn’t a fucking princess. they are a bunch of twisted lies that are nonexistent in reality. they don’t show the struggles of actual people or the fears they have. there is no happily ever after. stop thinking that things will get better. because it will only get worser. this is the start. there will be no end.
he was too foolish to see this. he couldn’t bring his thick headed skull to notice how no one will stay. he was too stupid to know that love doesn’t exist. everyone will eventually leave him and yet he had given his all to sehun, thinking that he was the one.
you’re a burden to sehun. just die already. didn’t you hear what he said. you drag him down and you bring burden to his marvelous life. you make him miserable. you don’t make him happy. you don’t make anyone happy so just leave him. just leave this world and everyone. stop fucking everyone up. aren’t you irritated of how much a bother you are. kill yourself
d i e
maybe just this once, luhan will listen to those words ; just this once wouldn’t hurt would it?
he is in pain and his body feels numb. his head lulls back, eyelids drooping as a slight smirk plays on his lips and the room is silent.