im a monster

i remember once I was talking to my friends. we were seated in a circle, giggling and chattering animatedly in our classroom. there was only us. it felt really nice. we were always busy so talking about anything felt comforting.

then I started talking about baekhyun and chanyeol going on the return of superman. sometimes when I talk about kpop, it’s honestly my stupid way of sharing my joy. my mediocre brain thinks that perhaps my j oy – which is anything kpop would equilvalent to your joy. i get excited a lot and I have no one to tell. people get tired and annoyed of my fangirling but maybe they’re right. maybe it is the most irritating thing on earth. maybe im the most irritating thing on earth. 

I was merely excited so I told a friend of mine about how Baekhyun taught one of the adorable twins how to shoot someone and how Chanyeol pretended to die and I just felt it was such an endearing sight. Being the playful individual, i reenacted it. 

You know what she told me, instead of playing along, she told me to go die bitch. I was astonished because I wasn’t even doing anything mean but she told me to go die ?

The worst of all, the people within my group of friends. they clapped. they clapped as though she was the hero for standing up against me. they clapped as though it was right for her to say such things to me. what hurt the most was the clapping. it won’t stop ringing in my head because I feel like a monster. it only meant that they were glad someone stood up and told me off for my constant fangirling and perhaps rudeness. It made me feel so lousy. Is this the way my friends see me. Am I really a monster ? 


4 thoughts on “im a monster”

  1. Your not a monster honestly. If they can’t see the joy when you talk about your favorite things, they aren’t worth it. Telling you to die and clapping means you should find new better friends. What is wrong with sharing your favorite things? Your happiness is more important. You aren’t a monster for showing your interest in things, it shows you have an open mind for anything. If you ever want to share things that Make you happy don’t tell them instead tell me! I would be happy to listen and I will even fan girl and clap like a seal because I am a fan and I almost died of the feels when I saw that scene on the return of super man. What I’m saying is, YOU’RE NOT A MONSTER FOR BEING HAPPY!


    1. :’) thanks lots. you didn’t have to write this but it cheered me up a little. I don’t know what to feel to be honest. it feels numb and sour but I’ll get over it


  2. 다 잘 될 것입니다. 그들에게 듣지 마 . 당신은 당신이 굉장한 팬 이야 , 괴물 하지 않습니다!


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