idiot

i was supposed to post something positive, spread positivity around but here I am moping like the little baby I am. I’ll try and post something with better content soon but yes I am busy. 

idiot ; a stupid person

sometimes I just hate how much of an idiot I am and I get so frustrated at myself and every foolish thing I do. people often ask why im always so mopey and sad and the funny thing is I have no idea why. I just can’t bring myself to be happy and often I don’t even know what exactly are the emotions going through me. heck, I can be sad and happy at the same time. I just frustrate myself so much. I hate how much of a loser I am and I can’t bring myself to do remarkable things. I get so mad so easily at petty things and I hate how it just happens unintentionally. I try to stay happy but sometimes it feels rather fake, a mere ostentatious facade I use to mask my true feelings. I’m not always the most positive or enthusiastic because I just find it tiring and im already exhausted. 

but really, don’t be like me! im being foolish because im not preaching what I preach and im really being a walking contradictory all the time but don’t be like me at all. I guess I can only try and be happy – even if it seems forced that’s the only thing people want to see. 

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