cyber bullied ( I think )

cyber-bullying  ;
could be limited to posting rumors or gossips about a person in the internet bringing about hatred in other’s minds; or it may go to the extent of personally identifying victims and publishing materials severely defaming and humiliating them

it has been awhile since a lot of things happened and it seemed to have simmered since I haven’t been using social medias that much. my experience is trivial to that others may go through but I’ll still talk about all of it. this is not to tarnish the names of those I speak of but rather to share my experience and hopefully you won’t have to go through the same thing. I never thought I’d openly share this because I usually keep such problems to myself.

so from the definition above, you get the rough idea of what cyber bullying is about and  it really isn’t something one should go through. but of course cyber bullying starts from the perpetrator. 

you may think that saying things behind screen means nothing but words do hurt. it hurts more than one can imagine. it has the ability to influence one. it can heal and it can also kill. it depends on how you chose to use it.

so someone ever sent me this :

eh. you bu shuang me then tell me .dont need talk behind my back? NBCB. you jealous I hang out with ” big ” accounts right? wtf is your definition of BIG? just because they follow me back and I talk to them so much and even have their numbers you’re jealous? and say I’m the one who always hang out with them? oops pls, more like it’s you who are trying to fit in -.- many of my friends find you annoying cause you’re asking for a follow or followback. and you sia la extra sia. join In convo simi lj? and please. if you bu shuang me just tell me in the face. don’t need hide behind ppl back and bullshit abt me. if you’re wondering why ” BIG ” accounts follow me and not YOU? my answer is damn simple. why? it’s because, my account is WAY better than yours. although you have more followers than me. I’m sorry but the truth hurts. you know what? x told me every single thing abt you. I know what you’ve done to her in the past. you two fought right? and it’s a shame that she won even tho she’s younger than you. please you alr know that you’re shameless and yet you still ask ppl to follow your PA. what’s exactly wrong with you? why must you take selfie without your specs? why scared ppl think you ugly ah. want be chio bu? pshh not a chance pls. another thing, people like me for who I am that’s why I have lots of friends and I’m popular In school. everyone knows me but you? you’re just a nobody who only hangs out with so little ppl. why do you always like to fit in. and pls stop gg to my friends ig and asking for a follow or what mcm likes shit. why do a giveaway on ig? simple cause you’re scared that you loose and you want lay to notice you ( which it’s not gone happen ) isn’t luhan your UB? why are you writing to lay? that’s so dumb.

wakao, finally mcm shits end today. no need to look at those comments that some annoying bitches commented. and stop posting personal shits in ur page la. so fucking annoying. you think you’re a member from exo ah? exo fanpage post your face. ppl say ‘chiobu’ is fake one lah. knn

one last thing to you : watch out. you get on my nerves, you will see what will happen to you. ( you don’t know me well 😛 ) next time want settle thing, tell me hor 🙂 don’t ever start taiji with me and my friends

I didn’t know what to feel initially.  It hit me hard, maybe harder than the sender’s intention and it felt horrible . It’s just I’m not a great person and I have trouble fitting in anywhere. In school, I was just there. I had friends but I felt alone. When I get home, my supposed group of online friends from my country turn their backs against me. call me silly but I used to take those friends seriously and I did once cherish them. I always treasure friends and it just made me feel so foolish.  I don’t take such things to heart ( especially the person I am right now ) but at that time, I was just sad and hurt at her oblivious words that indeed inflict pain. 

I guess sometimes people don’t understand why people do certain things. I always felt that people online have troubles and insecurities so they seek to find another mean ( which is the internet ) to find a new identity and have a facade where they can be them. that’s exactly what I did. it was my very own haven I could come to and I did what I liked. I posted self absorbed pictures of myself occasionally. I had a fan base which was thriving and I got to keep myself updated on the latest news in the fandom and I even got to meet people who share the same interest.  I didn’t get what was so wrong with it. Never have I once insulted someone, perhaps untentionally but I would never ever intentionally insult someone or point out their flaws. I don’t get why deserved this. Were they written in the moment of anger or out of pure hatred and abhorrence ? Some of the words from that message were left indelible, words I can never erase from my memory, it’s funny when I think about it sometimes. I hate to agree but i used I just feel that she’s so right, I was indeed a nobody and I still am. but so what if I am a nobody ?

i don’t think I even got a sorry afterwards but it’s okay because I grew up and got over it. I still keep this message though. Ironically. But it doesn’t hurt as much, a mere message I would read and just smile. 

the picture below is pretty much self explanatory but it’s over and im over it. 





side note:

this is my cute friend trying to comfort me. no hate, just appreciate ! 

1.she sound so ah lian-ish HAHA

2.YR ACC IS WAYY BETTER THAN HERS

3. Why can’t ppl take selfie without specs she’s kinda unreasonable here 

4.popular in sch HAHA okay at least yr personality is so much better than hers ew la and youre prettier alright

5.she spelt lose wrongly 

6.walao*

7.u shld comtinue posting personal stuff cuz u can continue pissing her off HAHAHAHA just ignore her and do whatever u wan

8.taiji? HAHAHAHA 

I don’t get why she’s tt angry thou but haizz don’t let her affect u okays at least ik your heart is way prettier than hers hehehee but she’s so vulgar omg. I doubt she even knows u tt well so she have no rights to judge you okay

I just saw it and I smiled a little. You should know who you are, you’re a little angel and I love you. I am so grateful for you existence in my life and that justified enough of how amazing you truly are.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “cyber bullied ( I think )”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s