open letter to you

Dear you,

Why do you always comment on how sloppy i look like. I’m just not the most bothered person out there because I’ve stopped caring so much on so many things. It’s the point in life where I just give up. Why do you hit me even when I’ve told you several times not to. Stop thinking it’s funny to hit me, even if it’s done playfully, it really hurts me, both physically and emotionally. I don’t want to feel this way, why do you make me feel this way. 

Why do you always act like I’m copying your answers and prying to have a peek of your marks. Stop, you don’t matter as much as you think you do. I just fidget a lot, it’s a bad habit but what makes you think I want to see your pathetic excuse of an answer ( not that it’s bad ) Why do you have to be two faced, stop acting like you care if you don’t. if you don’t, I know you’re using me again, aren’t you. Why are you so selfish, I give so much but I get so little. You take and take and take but you never seem to return. Why do you always blame me, why is everything my fault. I admit at times I have done wrong and I would probably have apologized genuinely for my mistakes. But you can’t just blame me for everything, can you ?

Why do you always tease the way I pronounce things, mocking my every word, making me cower and feel so so small. I hide in the cubicle alone crying, i bit back my smile. I hide my tears and my smile, my emotions and my thoughts, too much and too often. Why is it that you can say what you want about me yet I swallow my words because I care and consider about your feelings so I tend to filter away things that are negative. Why is it that when you joke it’s okay, but when I do, it’s not. Why is there an unequal treatment on the same actions by different people ?

Why do you make me feel so awful about myself and my exterior appearance. Why do you make my non existent self esteem drop lower than it should. I know, I don’t look good. Don’t tell me that taking my selfies without my glasses means I’m trying to be pretty. Dont tell me to go get contacts or behave in a certain way. Don’t tell me that I should do this or do that. I am my own person and I make my own decision. You’re not any more superior than I am, we’re equal beings, yet you still act the way you do. 

Please, I beg you, stop.

-The Victim Subjected to Such Behavior From You

( if you feel any thing while reading this, it’s your guilty conscience letting you know you’ve done something wrong, reflect ☺️ ) 

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